Whoops.

Yesterday I dropped our official Febreeze in the open toilet. (One good reason to close the toilet seat regularly). It seems that as the years progress so does my clumsiness. And this week especially sure has been a Week O' Clumsiness.

For one, I ran my cheek into the corner of my car door. Also my head met the wire rack at Dollar Tree. My boots got hooked on a seat lever several times when I tried to get out of the car. I stuck my finger in a port-a-john lock hole and got it smooshed. Twice I dribbled water in my lap because I missed my mouth with a cup. Today I leaned forward to peer at something closely and my head ran into the glass window.

So far (this year) my clumsiness has not caused me to stab, sprain, fall, bruise, or cut myself. There was that time in high school when I jumped out of a second story bed and sprained my ankle the night before our first soccer game of the season. Also, that time in middle school when I brush burned the entire left side of my face with the side of a pool. My uncoordinated moments mostly hurt my pride.

And I'm only just getting started...

Bahama Momma?

On Thursday morning I received a call from Jill about a free vacation in the Bahamas. Apparently one lucky duck gets to go on this trip for free. Guess who that lucky duck is?

You got it. It's me! You know those little "Win a free vacation" kiosks that you see in Japanese restaurants, malls and other such places? Well the Kurtz family takes those kiosks seriously. If there is an opportunity to win something, and you are a Kurtz, then you take it seriously.

There are several reasons why this is true. One: We are frugal, so if something is free, we like that. Two: We have a tendency to win things. So if there is a drawing, we like that too.

I have proof. One year, the Kurtz family won a "door prize" drawing: a wad of cash! This wad of cash served well to pay the bills and buy the Christmas presents that year.

It was an exciting time!

Another year, the Kurtz family's Momma and Poppa won a cruise to the Caribbean. This served as a ROMANTIC GET-A-WAY for their hard-working selves. I kept the kiddos alive and kicking while they were gone. That was a fun, adventurous time. By God's grace, all family members came out of that week alive and well.

Other surprises, such as various door prizes, gift cards and spontaneous awards have been a part of our winning history as well. If you have anymore questions about our mysterious winning streak, you are free to read the fine print below.

As for this latest winning I mentioned before... A cruise ship trip to and from the Bahamas with free food and cabin stay and two nights and three days in country. I did a little bit of photographic research on the Bahamas and this is what I found...

Doesn't look like such a bad place to spend a week, now does it? ;)

The Kurtz winning streak and tendency to be selected for prizes does not apply to the lottery or any form of gambling. Also, if the results of the contest are not completely random, our chances of winning decrease dramatically. In addition, the more Kurtz's in the contest, the higher chance of a Kurtz winning. The real reason for our higher percentage of winnings may be the fact that we enter so many contests to begin with.

Puffs Plus

Good evening friends. I hope you are having a fabulous fall. I am currently sniffling and snuffling from the fall freezies. The temperatures have dramatically dropped in the last few days. And I have just returned from a lovely frolic in the frigid mountains of North Carolina.

I thoroughly enjoy the fall season. Brilliant colored leaves, brisk breezes, and a bounty of yummy foods and smells.

Like pumpkin spice coffee.

The only thing I don't like about fall is that it means winter is coming. And that means sniffles and sneezies for me.

Here are a few more of the things that I LOVE about fall. Especially this one.

Spectacular Skies. Fall is so great for brilliant skies. I've thoroughly enjoyed all of the gorgeous cloud covers, sunrises and sunsets this month has offered. Can you guess which picture below is a sunrise? And which is a sunset?

Shoebox Shenanigans. Putting together an Operation Christmas Child is one of my favorite pre-Christmas traditions.

Culinary Cuisine. In honor of our International Autumn Potluck... I decided to go all out. I baked!

I got CPR, AED, and First Aid certified! Look out world.

The dummy by the instructor's feet calls himself Frederick. Fred for short. He's always getting himself into trouble, choking and suffocating and stuff.

This particular day I had to save his life several times. Oh Fred.

Artistic Adventures. Don't be too impressed. There's not a whole lot of symbolism in this painting.

Or is there? Feel free to read into it as much as you would like to.

I don't know how well written or sensible this post is. I am a little bit foggy on cold medicine at the moment. But with a cup of tea in one hand, and tissues in the other, I have written this post. So I hope you enjoyed it.

Indian Wannabe?

It's not every day you get to be a member of an Indian-American Bollywood dance crew, performing for a crowd of Indians at Clemson University in celebration of Diwali 2011. It really only happens once in a lifetime. Or maybe twice in a lifetime.

This is a true story. After hours of perfecting and practicing our inspirational dance routine, we performed for a crowd of Clemson Indian students in Tillman Auditorium on a cool October night. The crowd was excited and pleased. Soon after the event, we were asked to perform once more! At the world exhibition on November 13. We were told to form a dance crew. We were asked to choreograph more inspirational routines. Wow!! We're going to be famous!

I had another opportunity to be an Indian a couple weeks later for Halloween. This time, an American Indian. Halloween night was full of funny costumes and silly creative friends. Rednecks, frat boys, CLUE characters, ceiling fans, Mr. Clean, and a secret agent. My roommates and I decided to take it back, all the way back to Thanksgiving times, and make a funny joke at the same time. So we dressed up as American Indians. Cause we love Indians in America! Haha. Do you get it?

Well, we thought it was a funny joke. And that is all that matters.

The Indian sisterhood.

This is my in-character-self-portrait-in-the-back-room-where-no-one-can-see-me shot. You know what I'm sayin?

Soon after this, a major dance party of thirty costumed people in the next room disheveled my costume and hair. But what are dance parties for, if not for disheveling...

Finally, in light of the autumn spirit...

I love Christmas. But, Chickfila, please, let's celebrate fall while we have it, and let Christmas begin when Christmas begins. No need for Christmas trees, music, clothing, presents, decorations, or dreaming. Thanksgiving is almost here! Let's celebrate it.

I recognize this is a sensitive subject and very controversial. So I apologize for stepping on any toes. But this blog post is Indian themed, and not about elves and reindeer.

So, just in case I don't make it back to the blogging world before November 27...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Even those of you who are already celebrating the next holiday.

September is over already?!

Because my new favorite thing is to blog occasionally and not regularly, I'm going to have to do another try-to-cover-everything-that-has-happened-lately-in-one-post blog post. I apologize.

So here are few of my favorite things from September. And let's just be honest, this is not all-inclusive. Nor ranked according to favoritist.

1) Clemson Football. Can you say, undefeated?! I'm pretty sure the last time Clemson football dominated four games in a row, Martin Luther was still kicking!

DEATH VALLEY. Where Auburn died.

Above is a picture of a time when we visited Brock, who is in the band. Brock plays the tuba. Let's be real. He's pretty cool. And he's not in the band anymore. But he's still pretty cool. Take a look at those shades of his. It doesn't get much cooler than that.

2) My newest favorite hobby is hula hooping. Have you ever tried? Until last month, I couldn't do it. I've been practicing. And, wahlahhh.

You may have noticed the excellent pair of skinny jeans I am wearing. Yes, I just have to brag on Plato's Closet for one minute. Seven dollas plus tax. That means they only cost me one hour of work at the YMCA. Which is where I am in the above pictures. Those cutie patooties (the children) inspired me to learn to hula hoop! Oh yeah, and Heather Mack.

In fact, Heather Mack is my hula hooping inspiration. Here she is hula hooping while she reads God's Word. That's what I call: LEGIT. Someday I will be that cool. For now, I can swing that thing around my waist for at least 16 successful seconds before it falls to the ground.

You know what they say... 30 minutes of hooping a day keeps the flabby tummy away!

No, "they" don't actually say that. But it is a fact. Try it.

3) Flower tea.

Why yes, I would like a flower to bloom in my tea, thank you for asking.

4) Talented artist friends who pray...

5) Skyping with this dude...

Basically the highlight of my day.

6) Babies.

Babies aren't exactly September-related. But I really really like babies. Especially this one. Please don't be alarmed. This is quite normal for me.

I think that might be all for now. Unless you can think of some more of my favorite things. I don't have anymore pictures to share.

Fall Getaway was pretty fabulous. But those pictures are to come.

Poop, Pastors and Modge Podge: A few fun facts.

Life as I know it in a list of FIVE.

1) Labor Day activities.

Grilling out?

Yes.

Sleeping in?

Yes.

Hanging out with friends?

Yes.

Eating good food?

Yes.

Getting ordained as a campus minister?

Yes indeed!

As you can see below, I am officially an employee at Clemson. A campus minister at Clemson. A PASTOR AT CLEMSON. Don't worry, I don't plan to pulpit preach anytime in the near future. Or ever. I'm still rocking on my conservative theology rocker. It's just a tad bit comical, don't you think? Considering I work for a Baptist church.

Thankfully, according to Clemson, "being ordained," just requires a bit of paper work and a visit to the ID office. The perks? Pastor perks include a $25 employee parking pass as well as occasional pastor parties with the president! Not bad, not bad.

2) I've been checking out a new work-out series with my roommates. INSANITY. That's just what it's called. And that's just what it is. INSANITY. Say it in a big, deep voice and it sounds as legit as it is. If you're extremely insane you'll get insanely extreme. We'll see how that goes.

Heres a picture of that other time I worked out. Not so hard core, huh?

And here's a picture of another time. This was one of my prouder moments. Maybe not this exact moment. Because this was at 7:55am when I wasn't sure yet if I would live or die. The Cola half a' marathon. We beasted him.

Look out world. Me and INSANITY are coming.

3) Modge Podge is a funny word that means sticky glue that makes cool things. Like this lovely candle holder below. Some of Kim Sherman's finest work. Our Indian neighbors and Japanese friend came over for craft time last night and we turned our living room into a modge podging mania. There's nothing like craft time with International friends to remind you what life is really about.

4) Paper bag puppets are another cool creative outlet. My kids at school are very talented. They showed me up big time. Did you know you can have a paper bag puppet cyclops? Have you ever had a paper bag puppet with dreads? How about with her very own jump rope? Yeah, they showed me up. Take a guess at which one is mine. It's the normal-looking one. BORING...

5) Finalmente, I would like to share a quick saga with you.

Moo Moo Mr. Cow, our coffee cup friend, seems to have had a bit of an accident. We peeked into his mug home on evening, and chuckled at his misfortune. You can chuckle too if you want.

Happy Wednesday! The day of free frozen yogurt and $3 Mellow Mushroom. Thank you, Clemson, for feeding me well.

Budget Shmudget.

I HAVE ONE OF THOSE. A budget, I mean. The problem is there's sometimes enough money and there's sometimes too much and then there are times when there's not as much as there is supposed to be. I'm finding that I may need to hire an accountant. Which is laughable considering how little money I really have to keep track of.

Now, don't get worried. Especially if you are supporting me. All of your money is tracked and accounted for. I just don't have the skills when it comes to calculating and planning and applying budgets. I had this grand plan to take a Financial Peace class this semester. Whenever I got confused about money I just thought to myself, "No problem, in just a couple of weeks, I will be taking a finance class and then I'll know what to do." But then the class got cancelled. Now what will I do?

Well, I've made a plan and it's called a budget. Hopefully it will work as budgets are supposed to. Those dumb dollars are going to submit and go where they are supposed to and not where they shouldn't. Hopefully BiLo will remember that I'm not real loaded and price their food accordingly.

Check out my buggy of sale items (buggy is what you say for 'grocery cart' if you're from the South). I labored long and hard for these items. You remember that budget I made? Well, your looking at the budgeted food for the week right here. Not a very impressive quantity, is it? What do people do when they have kids to feed?! My word.

On to happier things. On Tuesday I got to drive to Cola and see Sweet William! Remember him? Here's a picture of him sipping on a tall mocha frapp. I got a warm drink (of course) that helped me stay alert(ish) on my drive back to Clemson later that night. What fun!

Why would I drive four hours for three hours of hang out, you might ask? Well, Heather and Anna Grace and I frolicked off to Columbia to visit the W's and Anna Grace's daddy. The occasion was Walker's 22nd birthday. Heather surprised him with the gift of her presence, and Sweet William and Anna Grace's daddy got gifts too! It was wonderful. And surprises are so much fun.

Maybe I'll do it again soon. ;)

Bloggers Anonymous?

"My name is Emily Kurtz and it's been 22 days since my last post..."

I'm so sorry! I know that all of you, my admiring fans, have been gasping for air with the absence of Emphoto in your life. Fear not! We are back to breathing.

The first (#1) reason I have been absent as of late is because I have recently relocated. Moving, I think they call it. My new location? Clemson, SC. One of my favorite towns in the southeast. We don't have a cool motto lingo phrase for the city. At least not that I know of. But perhaps we could make one up?

Clemson, SC: Where the Tigers play. Maybe that's too cliche. Clemson, SC: Where the Blue Ridge yawns it's greatness. You may have noticed that I am copying the Clemson alma mater. Not very original. Clemson: Famously Orange, Surprisingly Green. Hmmm, we'll keep working on that. One-liners are not my greatest skill. Please feel free to throw out ideas below.

The second (#2) reason I have been absent is because I have recently started a new job! Yep, I get to pursue college students! I get to hang out with internationals! I get to work with incredible men and women of God! I get to share the good news that has changed my life with others! For my job! Not bad if I do say so myself.

What I didn't mention to you is that doing these things that I love requires looooooong hours. So, therefore, no blogging time. I counted up hours logged last week: SIXTY-SEVEN. Wow. Now, a disclaimer is this. Personal ministry and work ministry can blur together in some areas. But still, that's a lot of hours. That's 33 hours less than 100. Now a 100 hour week, that would be a really long one. I'm not gonna do that.

The third (#3) reason for my absence is my second job. Don't worry, the 67 hours included this job. I know you were worried. After-school care at a Walhalla elementary school is a sweet second job. I get to take care of a bunch of cute little buggers every afternoon after school when they're all full of energy from a long day at school! I would post a bunch of pictures of these cute little buggers, (since this is a photo blog you know), but for security shemurity reasons I'm not supposed to. And I sure do respect that rule. But it means you don't get to see how cute they are! I promise they are cute. You're just gonna have to take my word for it.

There are so many more things I could say about this new life I lead. Good things, Great things and GRAND things! But, I won't keep you reading much longer. Instead, I will give you some photographic evidence of this new life! That way you can be sure that I haven't just been hiding out at my parents house in Charleston all this time and actually just avoiding you and hoping you wouldn't figure out that it was all a big fat lie. What if that was really true? Then I wouldn't be so cool after all. And what a disappointment that would be!

Lucky for you, I am still a little bit cool. And here's the pictures to prove it. For your viewing pleasure...

I painted that for my new room!

The coolest leadership team EVER.

My new friend Jin!

Asia meets Atlanta.

Indian lunch with a sweet new friend. Yum.

Meetin the neighbors.

The neighbors!! They liked the chai we made for them! A+

My new Partners in Crime, Heather and Lauren. Learning Hindi with Rosetta.

And that is all folks!

Cheesy.

I really enjoy being cheesy. Maybe that's not the best way to start out a new blog post. Don't worry, this blog post won't be cheesy. Well, maybe a little bit.

I've already told you about William Burk, haven't I? Well, a few of my girly friends decided to nickname him Sweet William. They did this for three reasons.

1) His name is William

2) He is sweet.

2) There is a cool flower named Sweet William.

Bet ya didn't know that. Now you do. It's scientific name is Dianthus barbatus. Apparently the Sweet William symbolizes gallantry. Here's a picture.

Nice, isn't it? I don't know about you, but when I look at that flower the first word I think of is "gallant." What a "gallant" flower that is! It is looking so great and "gallant." Is that what you think? That's what I figured.

Anyway, moving on to the real, live Sweet William in my life. He made a little visit this weekend. Let me just say, it was really wonderful. And he truly is gallant. Was that too cheesy? I'm sorry if it was. Moving on again.

Saturday I Molly Maided for the last time. And Whitney and I braved the "Stairs of Death." I don't know about you but I wouldn't particularly want to get caught on these stairs on a rough stormy night.

Thankfully we made it up and down the stairs multiple times with no catastrophies. Wouldn't want to mess up something important like our palmaris longus.

Right, Emily? Right, Aliece? An injured palmaris longus would be tragic I think. Could cause some difficulties with important things like drinking coffee and writing blog posts.

After work, I jumped in my car to head on back to my house to see Sweet William. And what do you think Jimmy decided to do to me? He decided to sit there and refuse to crank. Here's a picture of Jimmy during a moderately epic moment of my life in years past. Unfortunately, this current moment with Jimmy was not even close to moderately epic. Not even a little bit epic.

I wasn't sure in this particular un-epic moment if I should be angry at Jimmy's rebellion and respond with correction and punishment, discouraging all future bad behavior? Or if I should use positive reinforcement to develop Jimmy's sense of self and encourage him to behave properly? I can't say I thoroughly thought through all psychological possibilities at the time. Actually, I was just really hot and bothered by the inconvenience he caused me. So, to make a long story short, Jimmy is still stranded in the Molly Maid hood in Mt. Pleasant. Sucks for him.

Good thing for me, Papa Kurtz is great at search and rescue when it comes to his first born daughter. He showed up with a mallet intending to give Jimmy the business. Then he thought better of demolition and chauffeured me home instead. I'm glad. Cause I still like Jimmy.

One more weekend story for you. And then I'm going to have to do some serious post-weekend snoozing.

Saturday night, the spark for adventure within us was accompanied by a cloudy, rainy night. This called for a rendesvouz to Harris Teeter, of course. What we soon discovered was that the big HT has a thing for cheese. In fact, the big HT has a whole ISLAND of cheese! "Cheeses of The World", it is called. And it is just that. Is there a better way to spend a Saturday night than exploring a cheese island in the big HT? I think not.

So, naturally, we found the biggest, baddest, baller block of cheese on the island straightaway. Then we proceeded to lift it, smell it, photograph it, lick it...

Here she is. Well. Here she is. With him.

This picture may have taken me like 20 minutes to take because I was too busy laughing about something to hold the camera still. Who knows what was so funny. That's why Sweet William is mid-smile. Sorry Sweet William, I'm not a very good picture-taking-while-laughing photographer (ptwlp).

So, it's a hefty hunk of cheese. I think you would agree. But not anything worth a pretty penny, right? Wrong. Take a guess how much this cheese hunk cost. No, don't scroll down yet. Take a guess. Now double the number you just thought of. Nope, you are still too low.

Now take a gander at this price tag. Can you believe your eyes? You may have to rub them and look again. It's still true!

Six hundred eighteen dollars and twenty five cents. All I've got to say is that better be some tasty cheese. Way to set the bar high, Harris Teeter.

P.S. When I said we licked the cheese, I was just kidding. That would be gross.

And that is all I've got for now.